Some Like It Haute

Lovely Satisfying Maddening Manifestations Of The Miraculous Instruments Of Pleasure Too Powerful To Be Measured Too Keen To Be Endured And Too Exquisite To Be Intended For Employment By Base Unworthy Man.

Monday, October 30, 2006

The Culprit*

The bell rang. The sound of shuffling bags and screeching chairs filled the classroom. She started running, aware of the fact that two of her friends were behind her. Her heart started throbbing as her young legs carried her towards the grass.

"I'm first!!"

She yelled to her friends who were both tired and not interested in debating their way out of it. One of them left to eat since she wasn’t going to be first and the second was left to push the swing. She held her 50 fils between her teeth so as not to lose them. She didn't want to be the only one without chips from the cafeteria today. She got on the swing and her friend started pushing her. After a while, the swing started to slow down. She motioned to her friend to pick up the pace.

"I'm tired! It's your turn"

She positioned herself to jump off at the next push. Pulling her hair back and with all her force, she pushed herself off of the swing and landed on all fours. Something was wrong. She couldn't breathe. She realized what had happened and as her face started to get red, she motioned to her friend that something was wrong. The terrified young girl ran to the first teacher she saw pointing at her friend who was now on the grass coughing. Her friend had just swallowed 50 fils.

Gasping for air amidst the faces of worried teachers, she waited at the nurses' office holding her chest and trying to minimize the pangs of pain she felt. Her mother came running down the hallway only to find her 11 year old daughter in tears. She held her hand and started running towards her car; all the time hoping that they would make it to the hospital in time.

Speeding through the roads of Kuwait, they heard a thump. The daughter could see that her mothers face suddenly turned pale. She stopped her car and went outside. The daughter couldn't hear what her mother was saying on the phone but she managed to hear the words flat and tire. What the hell kind of day is this she thought. "I'm so going to die".

They waited until her father arrived. She hugged him because she knew he would make it all better. He drove them both to the hospital and waited as mother and daughter rushed to the emergency room. After necessary X-rays and inquiries, the doctor told her that she is lucky to be alive. The 50 fils has lodged itself right between her lungs and if it had been a 100 fils she would have surely died. He gave them both the option of extracting it or waiting for it to pass naturally through the system. Now that the risk of not being able to breathe has passed, it was nearly safe to let it be. The daughter, being the scared little coward she was, decided on the latter.

She was given 2 weeks. If the 50 fils did not pass through her system within that time limit, the doctors would have no choice but to extract it manually. Given nothing but a stick; she started her 2 weeks of checking on everything that passed through her system and found nothing. 2 weeks passed and scared of what might come, she lied to her mother and said that she found it and flushed it down the toilet.

A relived mother believed her lying daughter unaware of the consequences. Nothing happened to the daughter but she knew that one day, when she got older, she was going to blog about it.

*Thanks to Z for the title.

18 Comments:

At 5:55 AM, Blogger -OT- said...

Shotttt Gunnnnnn :P

 
At 5:59 AM, Blogger -OT- said...

hahahaha so it's safe to say that one day ur gonna be shitting money :P I always knew there was something special about u :P

 
At 9:20 AM, Blogger Jewaira said...

What a great story but I feel like I can't breathe now!

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger MiYaFuSHi said...

Hilarious!

But why am I not surprised??

 
At 10:17 AM, Blogger Cixousian Panic said...

OMG! thats so scary and the flat tire thing... jeez!!

so wait really stupid question: do you beep when you walk under metal detectors?

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger Dr.Lost said...

you're the girl that swallowed the 50 ? damn girl.. but umm i dunno i cant believe its still stuck.. and where? your esophagus ?

 
At 2:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Adorra darling.. that was soooo funny.. I can so imagine you in that situation..

P.s. I miss ya..
(I'm still waiting for my ice cream)

 
At 4:09 PM, Blogger Dakhtour said...

Shino hatha?!?!?! @@

Film 3orb darajah ola!!

Law ana chan mente7r men zeman men el khooof :P

 
At 9:27 PM, Blogger Aurous said...

Is the 50 Fils still there?? or is that an old x-ray?

If it's still there what wil you do with it when it finally comes out?

really funny story :D

 
At 2:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So funny and Serious at the same time, what im wondering is that its in the lungs, and since they are in the lungs how is it possible for the 50 fils to get out of the system naturally.the only way out is the trachea. i cant take that picture off of my mind thinking of you beeping in a METAL DETECTOR .. lol amaizing post keep it up

 
At 3:52 AM, Blogger adorra said...

OT: It's safe to say that I once shitted money :-p

Jewaira: Thank you! Just a glimpse of that day.

Miya: Because it's typical adorra behavior? Swallowing money and all? :<

CP: It's not in my system anymore. I'm pretty sure it passed through undetected so no to your question :-p

B: I did tell you the truth! Also, I most likely did poop it out.

Dr.lost: Yes it was me :< guilty as charged. It's not there anymore.

Digma: Thank you! I miss you too and ice cream soon inshallah.

Zizo: Ashwa ini moo inta! It wasn't all that bad. Maybe on the day itself only.

Aurous: These are pictures of the Xray back then. I'm pretty sure if I had actually found it I would have framed it.

Borzaiga: It's just funny now not serious :-p It wasn't IN my lungs. If it was I would have been dead by now. It lodged itself between my two lungs but then it just slid down day by day until it naturally passed out of my system.

 
At 10:11 PM, Blogger Dazed and Confused said...

heheheheheheh, u must've been scared shitless, literally :P

it reminded me of an episode from Jack Ass, when one of the guys stuck a toy car in his ass and got an X-ray ! :)

 
At 12:01 AM, Blogger Transparently said...

Salamat! .. I didn't know :'( !! Matshofen shar :P o Khairha eb gherha! :P hehe :D Glad you're okay though!!

 
At 9:50 AM, Blogger Yazeed said...

salamat?
matshoofeen shar?
i dont know what to say :P
interesting story

 
At 3:44 PM, Blogger N said...

LOL yeah i agree with bloggers, it seemed like something that could only happen to u .. ;P

heheh its funny and scary at the same time, glad ur okay sweeets ;*

 
At 8:32 AM, Blogger MacaholiQ8 said...

Whoa! That's a new guinness world record for eating coins. My brother had eaten 20fils when he was little but A FREAKIN' 50 FILS? Nooohooo ...

I'm sure glad you're still alive after all. el 3mur killa enshalla. ;P

 
At 10:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you should change the title to 7a9ala :p make on influence on kids who have no piggi banks to hide their money :p

 
At 12:14 PM, Blogger adorra said...

WWL: I don't think so.

Filmgirl: In the flesh. No heh I doubt it's still there and the stick was only for 2 weeks. :-p

D&C: The fact that you compared my story to something out of Jackass makes me feel so much better. :-p

Transparently: Thank you allah isalmek.

Yazeed: Il shar ma yeek, those words are enough :-p

Prinseesa: aah yes. :-(

The Criticizer: Did he eat it on purpose? Now if only we can find someone who swallowed a 100 fils.

Hitman: Either that or it went out south if you know what I mean heh.

Borzaiga: I've been called that many times. You bring back traumatic memories :-p

 

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