My Republic
- I get utterly disgusted when women tell me that girls who study abroad don't get married. It's a joke. Girls who study abroad don't want your sons. Why you ask? I'll tell you. Compared to a girl who studied abroad and broadened her horizons a tad, your son is illiterate, unchallenging and basically stupid. The pool of eligible men that would regularly satisfy a girl who got her degree from here and has seen nothing but those men gets thinned down to a pond. It isn't a pond because men stop pursuing a woman who earned her degree abroad but it's because she stopped giving a damn. She doesn't care what society thinks of her not being married by the age of 23. She doesn't care what X thinks of her because she isn't married to Y. She doesn't care if she has to wait a life time just to find someone who will stimulate her mind! I'm not saying that people who get their degrees from abroad are better than those who get them locally. What I am saying is if you think that a girl is undeserving of your son/brother/cousin/friend just because she got her degree from the states, STFU.
- I don't understand why some people think that knowing a person before marrying them is taboo. Putting everything you know about religion, tradition and social standards aside; how the hell do you marry someone you don't know? If you're going to say that's what an engagement is for then I'll say that's bullshit. An engagement is a commitment. I for one don't want to commit to someone who I have nothing in common with. I don't want to commit to someone based on what my mother thinks of him. My mother and I are two completely different people. She might know what's best for me on paper but she probably doesn't know what I'd like to spend the rest of my life with. So no, I have to know you before I marry you. By know you, I don't mean as someone I've seen once at a gathering. I mean KNOW you. I want to know if I can live with you, if you don't aggravate my pet peeves and I want to know if we have that certain something-something that makes me yearn for you.
- I would like to say the following: Just because you are married at 18 doesn't mean that anyone who isn't married by the age of 23 is undesirable. Also, getting married when you're 18 is stupid. I know that society doesn't condone women who don't want to get married right after they get their period but I think we should take a moment and think of our options. Why get married at 18? Even if you are very careful and you are financially stable and you are completely and utterly in love there are always flaws and faults. What if you get pregnant? Not everyone can manage studying and breast feeding. If you think that taking care of your child is more important than taking care of your career then more power to you but don't come running to me when you're 35, with no skills and about to go through a divorce with a husband who will leave you absolutely nothing but the child you gave up your life for. Fine, children are great blah blah but please don't put all your eggs in one basket. If you must, don't judge the girls who are smarter than you and who decide on having both a career and a child equally and who have half a brain to actually get an education and experience a decent career before settling down and starting a family. You will most likely say that that is the way our parents and their parents and their parents before them did it but times have changed and what was acceptable then is not acceptable anymore. It could work. I'm not saying that you can't balance it but there's always a slight chance that you'll slip and wouldn't you rather wait a few years and get steady on your feet before jumping into something that you MIGHT regret later?
- I dropped cranberry juice on B's pants at Starbucks and they stained the entire left side of her thigh. I'm very sorry. I know it was embarrassing walking all the way back to your car with red stains. :-(
Disclaimer: I am not against mothers with sons who have a degree from KU + I am not against girls who get married by the age of 18 + I am not against women who marry the men their parents pick for them. This is just my opinion on the matter and since this is my blog, I am entitled to at least that.
posted by adorra @ 4:33 AM
23 Comments:
SHOTGUN!!
yay :D
OMG Adorra I was just thinking about that.. i read a stupid article a while back on it.. mish6ateen they had pie charts and sh!t. It was so insulting because I doing my MA abroad and I'm gonna be 23 in like a few months and all the article was interested in was if i was gonna get married or not!! not whether I'm smart, not what i will be able to do to my country because of my knowledge... no they were interested in whether boys think I'm desirable [or not] based on my knowledge. ta5aluf!!
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH U GURL!
it's stupid how some people think, but this can not be changed within a day or two! wo now el7amdulillah some girls are getting married to someone they knew, or the guy doesnt care where the girl studied!
u know, u reminded me of a story, this happened to a cousin of mine, she was working for a company that required her to meet with men from other departments, and someday ja a guy 3ashan y56obha and his only shar6 was for her to quit work, wo el'3abya galat ok!
after 18 months of zwajhom, enfa9alo!
and when she tried to reapply for her job, galo laha sorry, no slots!
sa7 ilsanich!
i have one thing to say to u girl. HALALOOOOOOOOYA!!
Lil asaf, our society puts soooo much pressure on youngsters, both genders (but more towards females). to get married early, and from then on, everything would evolve on what it would affect their potential of getting married! Fuckin' give it a break already u obsessed freaks! Get a life and leave us to live our own!!
100% TRUE !!
specialy about girls who were studying abroad !! and the 18 yrs married girls !
wof u r great
YOU GO GIRL :)
totallyyyyyyy agree with you.. :)
I enjoy snorting cocaine, but that comes with marraige. It's how the ball rolls, how the game is played, it's all about being the grand puppeteer. Catch my drift?
Asalamu aleykum wa rahmat Allahi wa barakatuhu
Hey so you go to the States take a few 200 level courses in social sciences, and perhaps a degree in poli sci or mass com or sociology or whatever,
read a few books for Plato (the republic) Locke, Kant, Rousseau, Focult and then think yr smarter than local girls who didnt have a "sophisticated education" like yours.
you say you have nothing against them nor you think girls who study abroad are smarter but really your tone and choice of words doesnt at all suggest so.
you are really generalizing about women who studied abroad which to some extent is true,
yet there are always some exceptions
they go outside read a few books on feminism and attend a few seminars join the MUN and wow, I was really oppressed darn, this Kuwaiti society is really oppressed we women need to get our rights,
men getting more than one wives pshhh,, didnt you know this is a patriarchal interpretation, wearing Hijab,,, oh my God you cant force on me anything you backwards Arab dishdasha wearing man. Of course I am being sarcastic yet the I ve heard similar things being said,
on the other hand you get those who realize that the occident doesn’t have to offer much and take a deeper look at their own heritage, so we get students who study abroad who come back wearing niqab and others with beards and become so called “fundamentalists”
I can’t see how you can say now putting religion aside, ya3ni astakhfar Allah, didn’t Allah send prophets and messengers so we put their messages and Words of Allah aside!
Now you say engagement is commitment, no it is not, (least in Islam and not culture as some would like to mix both) it’s a period where one person gets to know the potential he/she is interested in, and there is no commitment and its perfectly okay to refuse that potential if you don’t feel the click.
And you are against early marriage coz you feel that most girls aren’t responsible enough, while I do agree with you, but in different contexts there are some girls who are responsible enough for an early marriage whom have matured early and going out and shopping is not on the top of their concerns,
Now surely you have had a great opportunity to study abroad that many didn’t have it will be a shame to come back and look down upon those who didn’t, by using a different style of debate and a radically different outlook to everything.
In this part of the world there is something Called Quran and Sunnah, if you cant address those two sources using their fundamentals (usool) then you have no place to survive in an intellectual battle.
I know my tone is kind of harsh, but the way I sound is exactly the way you would sound to an 18 year old girl who just married her cousin and just joined Kuwait University
I hope inshaAllah you don’t hold any grudges on me, just as I don’t hold grudges on you
Salamu aleykum
CP: I think that's the article that 3baid linked me to. It is frustrating to say the least.
Saroona: That story is very depressing. Allah isa3ed your cousin.
Miyafushi: Sa7 ibdinich!
B: Which uncle is this? :o
Prinseesa: Halleluja to you too :-p
OT: You tell 'em!
cr8iviya: Thank you :-D
Tinkerbell: :-)
3baid: That link is very depressing.
Izzi: Where've you been? Thanks :-D
Dr.Lost: I'm glad.
Anon: No not really. It made me laugh though :-p
AlHanbali: First of all, your entire reply is based on a false assumption. I did not study abroad. I studied at Kuwait University. I didn't take any "classes" in order for me to sum up my perspective on things. If that's how you form an opinion then that's your business. I have absolutely nothing against people who received their degree from Kuwait. Most of my friends are studying here and they are the most sophisticated people I know. If you took the time to actually think logically about what I had to say I wouldn't be writing this. I did not say that girls who study locally are ignorant, what I said was that if YOU think that a girl who studied abroad is undeserving of you then you are very ignorant. YOU. Not the girl who got her degree from KU.
Second of all, when I said putting religion and tradition aside, I didn't mean that they shouldn’t be a factor in your decision making. I said that so that people like you wouldn't come here and say "well, what about religion?" I have a different religious perspective on things. I only said that to make sure that you understood that I was talking from a perspective outside of religion, and yes I do have perspectives outside of religion and if you think that that's wrong then again, your problem not mine. Also, an engagement is a commitment, or do you think I can go around getting engaged without having it affect my life? Or what people think of me in that case? If you DO believe in that then you need to broaden your horizons. Most girls who get engaged twice or more are considered questionable to prospective husbands. They wonder why people broke it off and I'm not saying that that's right, but that's the case. Therefore, I'd rather not get engaged unless I'm sure or at least 98% sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with this certain someone.
Finally, you shouldn't be judgmental if you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I said that I THINK that girls shouldn't get married early because they MIGHT not be up for it. Aren't I entitled to MY thoughts on MY blog? Also, the fact that you think shopping and going out is a priority for anyone who isn't married by the age of 18, is not only a cheap shot but also makes your reply lack credibility. Thank you but I don't need you to point out that there is something called Quran and Sunnah, I happen to use them in my every day life. I don't hold any grudges on you but I do feel that you were very out of place and rude. Seeing as how I not only used a disclaimer to avoid this but also because it's my blog and I did not judge anyone, all I wrote were my thoughts on certain subjects. If you disagree then feel free to rebuttal on your blog. Thank you :>
asalamu aleykum
there is nothing I fundamentally disagree with you except when you talk about religion
surely i could blog my thoughts and say feminists are a Jewish conspiracy that was utilized by Marxist and just state it as that, and tell you these are my thoughts and take them or leave them. Just as unfortunately many sheikhs like to make propagate politically incorrect information.
i know the way i spoke is outof order and rude, i wanted to make a point by adressing you the way you adressed others, despite i didnt use foul langauge. if that isnt convincing for you then please accept my apologies.
“and yes I do have perspectives outside of religion and if you think that that's wrong then again, your problem not mine”
Since this is a serious issue that’s why I only address that despite your invitation not to continue these replies
But since alhamdullelah Quran and Sunnah are in your daily life
Then those ayat should be suffice
وَمَا كَانَ لِمُؤْمِنٍ وَلَا مُؤْمِنَةٍ إِذَا قَضَى اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَمْرًا أَنْ يَكُونَ لَهُمُ الْخِيَرَةُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِمْ وَمَنْ يَعْصِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ ضَلَّ ضَلَالًا مُبِينًا
وَمَنْ لَمْ يَحْكُمْ بِمَا أَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ فَأُولَئِكَ
هُمُ الْكَافِرُونَ
وَقُلْ لِعِبَادِي يَقُولُوا الَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ يَنْزَغُ بَيْنَهُمْ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ كَانَ لِلْإِنْسَانِ عَدُوًّا مُبِينًا
wa asalam aleykum
doraar ya fatat DORAAR !! :P
very well put darling ;*
well said girl. and believe it or not, more than ever before guys are looking for girls who are educated.. guess ppl are catching up with the theory that marriages sometimes can involve more then just having kids.. maybe have something in common to talk about.q
So apt!this post will serve as a light of realization to many (shallow) arab girls and guys..if not that , than a knock on their heads. I agree with you on most matters! hell I agree with all your arguments!
great read!
im reading this w kint 7ady mishta6a 3ala the studying abroad w chethe.. then u wrote its my blog and im entitled madre sheno... w kilshay tibakhar and this is wht came up..
ITS MY PARTY AND I CAN CRY IF I WANT TO CRRRRRRYYYY IFFF IIII WAAAANNNNNTTTTT TTTTTOOOO !!!! :P
Be part of the biggest contest in the blogworld:
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I'll be glad to have u in it :)
new post eh? :D
you make a very good point...
hell, I wouldn't marry half the "eligable" bachelors in kuwait... :/
allah i3een il jamee3
3ashat..
Alhanbali: OK.
Um-mit3ib: :-p Matgasreen
Deem: Allah isalmech.
Digma: Thank you Darling!
Twix: That's always good news.
Alia: I'm glad. Thank you
Um-mit3ib: La please aham shay il sha66a :-p
Zizo: You spammer you!
Hitman: There's always the good and the bad but I just think that there should be more than just a parents point of view to make a marriage work.
CP: coming up :-p
KD: Yeah who would? :o
Fatoma: Tislimeen :-)
That was awesome! Thanks for defending us Western-educated gals :*
But, I gotta say I disagree about the arranged marriage and the engagement thing. I dont see the engagement as a committment, you just have to keep everyone's mouth shut before the men come. That way there won't be any fuss made if you break the engagement and no questions as to why it happened.
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